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The iconic Steve Jobs must have had military spouses in mind when he wrote: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

How many times as military spouses do we have to “act” one way or another in order to fit into our military culture or blend into our particular military command?  By virtue, acting and blending doesn’t come easy to men and women destined to reinvent themselves in new locations and new environments time and time again due to PCS’s, changes of command and transition to civilian life. Yet, as military spouses we have perfected the dual life flip-flop seamlessly – time and time again. How does this play out in your job search, career path and destiny? This constant motion of moving forward and reinvention is termed by me as:  “Flex for the Good.”

No other workgroup can “Flex for the Good” better than military spouses!

How to “Flex for the Good”

1. When employers seek leaders in their markets they want a person that possesses the ability to “flex for the good” of the company, product or brand management of the organization. This doesn’t mean that you pucker-up to the boss or project lead. Being able to “flex for the good” in a company as a leader simply translates your ability to ADAPT to ever changing ups and downs in an organization that moves a product or service.
2. As important as adaptability is to any team, it is the high skill of thinking things through to the most logical conclusion that makes or breaks projects and programs.
3. Being able to think through the problems, resolutions, outcomes and processes of a service or product to the most logical conclusion is perhaps the single most important development tool on planet earth! I actually shake my head in wonderment when I hear young professionals scoff at their brain-power as they depend so heavily on computers and the Internet to “give them thought”.
4. ALL organizations either move a product or service. Knowing how to lead by example and “flex for the good” helps those under your care visualize and implement their dreams inside of the project or product or service. In short, your ability to flex for the good when leading a team, allows the team to leave its imprint, footprint and thumbprint inside its work life. Nothing motivates a worker more than being able to SEE their personal and professional imprint on a project or product.  It’s called OWNERSHIP.
5. Leaving your ego and emotional baggage at the door plays a key role when applying your leadership skills to a project or product – especially if your role oversees people in any way. Your job as a leader MUST be one of collaboration and vision to the big picture.

According to multiple studies, the current generation of twenty- and thirty-year-old (young) professionals has been deemed as the MOST intelligent generation in mankind! This wonderful generation knows that their brain power is more valuable than any app, computer, html code, yoyo mode, extensible metadata platform or graphics interchange format! LOL - OMG.

This thirty something (and younger) generation of military spouses are REMARKABLE. They’re smart, caring, business savvy, computer driven and, well spoken as a collective group.

I would ask that corporate America pay a little more attention to this particular group of worker-bees and to stop (once and for all) branding military spouses as “dependents”.

As a collective group of military spouses (retired, active duty, Guard and Reserve) we’re uncomfortable with the word “dependent” and value a sense of team spirit in all that we do.

If you absolutely have to use the word “dependent” when describing us, we prefer you use the term “interdependent” …

Interdependent Military Couples

• Interdependent military couples do not shed their own identities
• We value the balance when maintaining our own dreams and visions as we support our military member in our military marriage.
• As a military couple we cherish the accomplishments of one another, as we follow protocols to ensure we represent our commands in a respectful way.
• We applaud our individual traits and uniqueness as a military couple – and as individuals inside our marriage.
• We never take on the other’s feelings or rank or responsibilities. We respect the space and comfort zones of our military marriage to remain free thinking individuals –who happen to be married to one another.
• We express our own opinions and support the opinions of our partner, if agreed upon mutually
• We don’t have to agree or disagree with one another
• Military life is hard enough … we simply allow one another to exist inside of a marriage that doesn’t judge or criticize the other person harshly
• Military marriage does not define me as a person
• My individual thoughts, actions, responses and ability to love and take care of my family define who I am individually.  It just so happens I married a person who didn’t want to be ordinary in the civilian world. I married military.

I absolutely LOVE the direction military spouses have taken during the last ten years regarding their ability to move forward as independent free-thinking individuals who have armed themselves with multiple degrees and certifications and who also possess the entrepreneurial spirit needed to reinvent themselves many times over in order to secure a life of earning power.

Make no mistake, the ONLY reason people work (whether they love the career they chose or hate the job they perform) is to maintain the ability to secure a life of EARNING POWER.

By Deb Kloeppel, MSCCN Founder & CEO

Published by Military Spouse Magazine

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